I found this letter several years ago and haven’t been able to completely forget it, because I had written one almost exactly like it. While mine is lost somewhere in a sea of boxes and storage, I figured I’d at least share this one:
To my future husband,
It is important for me to write to you now, even before we know each other, because there is still time for both of us to think about our future and to make wise decisions.
There are so many things I want to tell you. Girls are like that, you know. I want to share my dreams with you. I want to trust you to listen and to care about what I say. You are very important to me.
When I think about getting married, I think about much more than just the wedding dress, bridesmaids, flowers, invitations and parties. To me, getting married means sharing the rest of my life with you. Growing old together – ’til death do us part – with a lot of living in between. It means growing and changing and living through the good times as well as the bad. It means loving each other when it is difficult.
I look forward to a happy life with you and our children, but I’m not so unrealistic that I think we won’t have any problems or difficulties. Those will be the growing times when our love and commitment will be tested, and we will emerge stronger, wiser and more deeply in love.
A friend told me once that it is necessary to know what is important to me and to have some “major” requirements when it comes to selecting my spouse. That way it will be easier for me to recognize you when we meet. The “majors” are basically those few character traits that are absolutely essential to me; traits that I just could not compromise on for any reason. I know the most important “major” would be unselfishness. I’m not perfect in this area, but I want both of us to be unselfish. We cannot go through life thinking only of ourselves. We have to be willing to make sacrifices for each other and for our children. We have to be willing to love. That’s not always easy, but unless we are committed to a lifetime of loving unselfishly, our marriage will never succeed.
We have to be honest too. No marriage can survive without honesty and trust. I know we will spend many hours just talking and learning about each other by sharing our thoughts and our feelings, our hopes, our dreams and our fears. I want us to be very comfortable with each other.
I want so much to love you. And, I want you to love me. I want to be cherished, to be the most important person in your life, to be your most intimate friend. I want to be your wife. I want you tenderness and affection, your kindness and you strength. I want to be there for you when you feel happy and on top of the world, and I want to be there when your spirit is crushed. I want to feel protected and secure in your love and to trust you at all times. I want you to feel safe with me and never to be ashamed to talk about your fears and weaknesses. I want to encourage you to stand up for your beliefs and always to do what is right. I want to stand beside you as we go through life together.
As you can probably tell, I think about you a lot. I hope and pray that we will be strong enough to wade through what the world has in store for us. The things we do and say today can affect the rest of our lives. We do have to think and to care about the way we live today. You are so important to me. Our future is important to me. Our marriage and our children are important to me. That’s why all of this matters.
I want to be your wife, and I want you to be my husband. So, future husband, I hope this letter makes a difference to you. I really do exist. Please wait for me. I am waiting for you.